Police, Nurses, and Red Tape

Those overpaid guys and gals in Westminster, who masquerade as the UK Government, seem to really have lost their marbles this week. They will announce today that all new nurses will need to be educated to degree level in an attempt to improve the quality of patient care. The move, which will be enforced from 2013, is designed to raise the status of nursing and to end the stigma of the “doctor’s helper” Actually, as far as I can see, the nurses have been carrying out a few of the doctors’ duties for some considerable time now. It seems that anyone who wishes to become a nurse will need to have a degree within four years, in one of the biggest shake-ups of medical education in the history of the NHS. There are more than 400,000 nurses in the NHS, making up the largest part of the country’s health workforce. At the moment, the minimum level for NHS trainee nursing positions is a diploma — a two or three-year nursing course.

If this new recommendation is implemented, with all nurses required to obtain a degree, I would think that the standard of proper nursing would actually decline, instead of showing an improvement. A lot of folk who would make excellent nurses because of their temperament and caring attitude will look for other types of work if they feel that they cannot cope with studying for degree exams, or that their brain power is simply not geared up for it. Some will also be put off by the prospect of a long and expensive period of study. For those who are not suited to the nursing profession, but who would study for, and receive the degree, we could be facing a scenario where some of them would feel themselves to be above carrying out mundane tasks, and to be “too clever to care”, refusing to carry out duties such as washing and feeding patients and helping them to the lavatory etc.

In a somewhat similar situation, I’ve managed to help quite a few folk over the years in learning a new language, but I am not allowed to teach it in schools, simply because I don’t have a degree. Do all those who have gained degrees make excellent, or even good, teachers? I think not. There are thousands of teachers in our schools who are simply not suited to the job. They are brainy enough, sometimes brilliant, in fact, but they cannot impart their knowledge to others. We could, and indeed will have, the same kind of situation in our hospitals and health centres. I reckon the old saying is still true – that nurses are born, not made.

Now to something which concerns our policemen, and which is definitely more bizarre. The official Police Cycle Training Doctrine is soon to be published – pamphlets in 2 volumes, containing 93 pages -- the cost of which is estimated at thousands of pounds. It will include such nuggets of information as how to balance on a bike so they don’t fall off, how to stop and get off it safely, how to brake and avoid obstacles such as rocks and kerbs. It even advises bobbies not to tackle suspects while they are “still engaged with the cycle”. I feel a sitcom is definitely in order – I’ll even supply the signature tune for free:- “Ride we gaily, on we go; Plod on bike, with thief in tow.”

Back to the Health Service for an example of some of the stupid rules that have crept into everyday life in Britain. Visitors to the Calderdale Royal Hospital in Halifax were asked not to coo at, stare at, or ask too many questions of newborn babies in the maternity ward – on the grounds that—wait for this – it could infringe the babies’ right to privacy! What on earth was I going to ask a one day old child – his bank details? In the meantime, the Children’s Index is a data base which brings together all sorts of information on our nation’s children, and which is available to 400,000 doctors, social workers, and other officers of the state. It follows that you are not allowed to coo at babies for fear of invading their privacy, but it’s fine for the Government to give out details of a child’s health and education records to 400,000 public sector staff. Writing this has so infuriated me that I’m away to phone Gordon Brown to see if it’s okay to have my dose of Diazepam (Valium) earlier than usual.