Barmy British Laws

A couple of months ago, I mentioned some of the barmy laws that exist in Britain, and it’s only because of the unusually long spell of snow and frost that I came across another one that could affect any of us as we walk around our towns and cities. I was very critical of local shopkeepers for not clearing the pavements in front of their shops, but it seems that they were actually protecting themselves from the wrath of British justice. Firms have been warned that if they clear ice outside their businesses, they leave themselves open to legal action. However, if they leave the paths or pavements in a treacherous state, they are immune from being sued. It seems that they would have to get public liability insurance if they wanted to stay above board in the legal sense. The Institution of Occupational Safety and Health, representing 36,000 health and safety experts, has a lot to answer for.

It seems that we are not allowed nowadays to protect our families and property either. The TV presenter Myleene Klass has been warned by police that she was breaking the law by waving a knife at a gang who had broken into her garden. She was actually inside her home, and they were outside, when the incident occurred, but she was told that she should not have used the knife as carrying an “offensive weapon”, even in her own house, was illegal. With the scarcity of police officers nowadays on the beat, what are folk supposed to do – allow themselves to be attacked and their houses ransacked by louts? It leaves me with a dilemma as well – how am I going to chop my vegetables, or for that matter, cut up my juicy T-bone steak?

Experts at “Which?”, the consumer watchdogs, have come to the conclusion that everyday tasks such as mopping the floor, dusting, and taking a walk with the vacuum cleaner burn up more calories and give a better boost to fitness than playing about with a Nintendo Wii. They probably burned a lot of grey calories themselves while trying to come to that conclusion.

It seems that Ronnie Wood, he of the Rolling Fossils, has started dating another girl in her 20s, just weeks after falling out with Katia Ivanova, his girlfriend for 18 months or so. This latest one’s family come from Russia, same as Katia did. Is he collecting their females in the same way as some of us collect their famous eggs?