Liberal Democrats' Day of Reckoning

 

 

It was the turn of the Liberal Democrats today for some of their outrageous expense claims to be published. Andrew George, the MP for St Ives, claims £847 a month from taxpayers on mortgage interest payments for his riverside flat. But the home insurance policy included on his expenses file is in the name of his 21-year-old daughter, Morvah George, a student who has worked as a professional model and as an intern for her father in Parliament. Mr George admitted that his daughter kept some of her belongings there and used it as a “bolt-hole” but denied she spent more time there than him. He said his insurers had prevented him from being named on the policy as well as on one at his Cornish home. Mr George’s claims reveal how MPs are able to use the system to buy properties from which their families can benefit.

 

Nick Harvey, who helps oversee the administration of parliament, received letters from the fees office telling him to submit copies of his mortgage statements and bills for his cleaner. Mr Harvey, the MP for North Devon, has claimed second homes allowances totalling £143,658 for his house in London, including interest payments on his £340,000 mortgage, which were £1,258 per month in June 2008. The Liberal Democrat spokesman on defence also claims £30 per month for his subscription to Sky Sports and claimed £3,515 for food between 2004 and 2008.

 

Chris Huhne, 54, the LibDems’ Home Affairs spokesman, is one of parliament’s wealthiest MPs, having built a fortune during his previous career as a City economist, where he founded his own ratings company. He owns his second home in his Eastleigh constituency in Hampshire outright but regularly claims for its renovation. In August 2006 he was reimbursed for a £5,066 builder’s invoice that included having two coats of “red rustic timber care” applied to garden items, and two coats of green preservative for fences. On another occasion Mr Huhne submitted a handyman’s bill for £77.31, covering odd jobs such as “replacing rope on swinging chair”.  Mr Huhne’s constituency home is one of seven he owns in Britain. As well as his London residence in Clapham, he owns five properties in London and Oxford, from which he receives rental income, according to his entry in the register of members’ interests. He also has a share of a holiday home in France, while his wife, Vicky Pryce, the chief economic adviser to the Department of Trade and Industry, owns a property in Greece. Mr Huhne’s claims under the additional costs allowance include a bill for £119 for a Corby trouser press, finished in mahogany, from John Lewis. His incidental expenses provision claims, which cover the running costs of his offices in London and in his constituency, include a single receipt for semi-skimmed milk (62p), and others for chocolate HobNobs (79p), tea bags (89p) and a bus ticket (£3.20). Among the items carefully crossed off on the receipts are a cheese muffin (99p), bacon flavour Wheat Crunchies (28p) and Ready Brek (£1.81). One of his most unusual claims is an £85.35 bill for the “mounting, framing and inscription of photo of Chris Huhne”. "Vanity of vanities, saith the preacher; all is vanity." (Ecclesiastes 12:8). Compare all this to the fact that six beds were removed from a hospital in the Isle of Skye on Monday, supposedly to save money. Compare it to the fact that there was only one ambulance serving the Shetland Islands until now. Should it really come as a surprise to those people that the natives in every part of the UK might be getting restless?

 

 

Nick Clegg, the Liberal Democrat leader, said MPs should have to return any profits they make on their second homes to the taxpayer. As the spotlight on MPs' expenses turned on his party, Mr Clegg said he had always intended to give back any profits that he makes when he eventually comes to sell up. He said he could now be requiring members of his frontbench team to do the same until there were new rules in place. He is obviously following in the footsteps of David Cameron and Gordon Brown, who have suddenly been laying down the law to their own members. What utter hypocrisy! Not a word would have been said by any of them if the whole sorry scandal hadn’t been exposed. The bulls in Texas are a poor second when it comes to fertilising grass. Talking of Texas, the world record for throwing and catching a raw unbroken egg was set in 1978 in the Lone Star state, when Johnny Dell Foley threw a fresh egg 323ft 2ins (98.51m) to his cousin Keith Thomas. 31 years on, and we could do with champion egg throwers again, preferably using the rotten variety.

Thanks for the Toilet Seat and the Manure!

The revelations in the UK’s Telegraph newspaper over the past few days regarding MPs’ expenses are mind boggling, to say the least. Lord Mandelson billed taxpayers almost £3,000 for work carried out on his constituency home in Hartlepool less than a week after he announced his decision to stand down as an MP. The Business Secretary renovated the terrace house in 2004 before selling it and making a profit of £136,000….over five years, Mr David Miliband spent just under £30,000 on repairs, decoration and furnishings for his £120,000 home in South Shields. On at least one occasion, he exceeded the maximum allowable amount and had his claim cut back. Mr Miliband, the current Foreign Secretary, spent up to £180 every three months on his garden, prompting his own gardener at one point to ask whether all the work was required….Hazel Blears, Communities Secretary, claimed for three properties in a single year at taxpayers’ expense. Miss Blears, who  is responsible for housing policy, also spent time in one of London’s most fashionable hotels paid for from public funds. In March, 2004, Miss Blears stated that her second home was the property she owned in her Salford constituency. During that month she bought an £850 television set and video recorder from Selfridges, and a £651 mattress from Marks & Spencer. Her mortgage on the Salford property, which she has owned with her husband since June, 1997, was £300 a month. The following month she changed her declaration and began claiming that a flat in Kennington, south London, was her second home. She started claiming £850 a month for the mortgage on the flat….David Willetts, the Shadow Innovation, Universities and Skills Secretary is nicknamed "Two Brains" because of his formidable intellect,  but his expenses suggest he cannot work out how to change a light bulb. Mr Willetts billed the taxpayer £115 plus VAT for workmen to replace 25 light bulbs at his second home in west London. On the same bill, Mr Willetts charged another £80 to “change lights in bathroom”, part of a £2,191.38 invoice for odd jobs that included cleaning a shower head….we have John Prescott, who would presumably have been happy using the ship’s heads during his Merchant Navy days, claiming for two toilet seats in the space of a year. Going by his bulk, I suppose we should be relieved that he only broke the two.

 

On the Conservative side, we have James Arbuthnot claiming £1,471 in the period 2006-07 for pool maintenance at a house he rented before buying a £2 million home without a mortgage two years ago…. Douglas Hogg, the former agriculture secretary, submitted a claim form including more than £2,000 for the moat around his country estate to be cleared. The taxpayer also helped meet the cost of a full-time housekeeper, including her car. The public finances also helped pay for work to Mr Hogg’s stables and for his piano to be tuned…. Sir Michael Spicer, the Conservatives’ most senior backbench MP, claimed £5,650 in nine months for his garden to be maintained. In December 2006, he submitted a detailed invoice which included “hedge cutting ... helipad”, although he claimed last night that the “helipad” was a “family joke”. The Conservative grandee successfully claimed for the costs of hanging a chandelier in his main manor house…. Michael Ancram, who is the Marquess of Lothian, claimed more than £14,000 a year in expenses while owning three properties, none of which have a mortgage and are worth an estimated £8 million…. David Heathcoat-Amory claimed for more than £380 of horse manure for his garden. A comment springs to mind, but I won’t bother to scribble it down – I’ll leave it to the reader’s fertile imagination.

There have been some outrageous smaller claims over the past few years, such as £1.65 for a bottle of shampoo for a balding Labour backbencher in 2007, £2.22 for two packs of Tampax for a MALE Conservative MP, who seems to have lost more than his seat in 2005, and 5p for an Ikea carrier bag, claimed by a Scottish Labour MP. Quite a few of them have claimed for biscuits as well, both doggie ones, and the chocolate variety, the latter presumably for themselves. 

 

Correspondence seen by The Daily Telegraph suggests that some of the MPs have been claiming for their country homes for many years, stretching back to when receipts were not necessary for parliamentary expenses. When they were required to produce detailed receipts about five years ago, they began simply producing statements listing all the costs of their homes. In some cases, the Fees Office agreed to pay the maximum allowance after coming under pressure from the MPs. The Fees Office is supposed to check on claims, and to report excessive claims to the Commons Speaker. Obviously, if they haven’t been carrying out their duties properly, then the fault lies at their door, but if they HAVE made the Speaker aware of some of the more ridiculous claims, then his job must surely be on the line.

 

Those disclosures have finally forced my hand – I’ll be standing for the Freeloaders Party at the next election. If you happen to live in my constituency, please make sure that you put the cross beside my name, as I’ll be assured of scoffing as many Jaffa Cakes as I can, at your expense of course.