Pensions, Wages, and Water

Just as I thought that I might have a couple of days with my blood pressure down to normal, I hear on the airwaves that The Royal Bank of Scotland is being given more billions in order to help it on its merry way, but what really scunnered (a great Scots word) me was the fact that the main culprit for getting them into a mess, Sir Freddie Goodwin, is to receive a yearly pension of £650,000. Our Prime Minister is only on a measly salary of £194,000, for goodness sake. It works out at £12,500 per week for that Goodwin guy, while folk who put in an honest 40 hours work on the minimum wage have to exist on £11,918.40 a year. He (Goodwin) laughed at the idea that he should not accept that amount – in effect, he is mocking, not only the ordinary people of Britain, but its elected Government as well. If Gordon Brown and his Cabinet do not, or cannot, deal with this fiasco, quite a few of them will find themselves signing their autographs for Jobseekers’ Allowance after the next election.

 

I thought I’d have to get rid of dark thoughts for a couple of hours, so decided to have a look at some of the lighter offerings in the media. I noticed in one local paper that punctuation didn’t come into use until the advent of printing in the 15^th century. When I browse through certain publications nowadays, I might be excused for wondering if their editors have been made aware of the fact that puctuation does, in fact, exist. 

 

Looking through the ”Situations Vacant” page in the same paper, I came across an advert asking for folk to apply for the post of “Raining Officer”. Requirements include excellent interpersonal and communication skills. I was always of the opinion that simple chanting, combined with frenzied dancing, did the trick.

 

Still on the subject of water – it seems that there was a significant drop in the number of fish caught last year from the Tweed, Scotland’s top salmon river. Lack of water, one might think; no, it was actually the wettest year for almost a century. It seems that the drop in numbers came about because nearly a month of fishing days were “lost” because of the rain. Where have all the hardy anglers of yesteryear gone?

 

“Where have all the owners gone?” I asked myself when I saw some of the items that have been left behind by guests in hotels owned by the Travelodge chain. Keys to a Porsche, artificial limbs, false teeth, and a horse have all been found. If you happen to notice a one-legged jockey with no teeth trying to get into a Porsche, please show him the way to the nearest Travelodge Inn.