Council Mayhem in Western Isles

I am fed up of seeing Tweedledee, Tweedledum, and Tweedledem, those three bears who are trying to get their paws into the No 10 honeypot, staring at me from every newspaper that I look at, and from my seven television sets. I’ve decided therefore to give all that a miss on this pre-election day, and have a quick peek at what the honourable members of my local Council have been up to lately.

7 miles south of where I live, I see that they are constructing a footpath between the villages of Newmarket and Tong. Very admirable in normal circumstances, especially if folk actually walked along that route. However, in over 50 years of travelling on that road, I reckon that I’ve seen the grand average of six humans perambulating there per year. Of course, they might be using it during the night, whilst I’m dreaming of the best way to cook poached salmon. Admittedly, numbers of red deer have taken to frequenting the area over the past year, and maybe it’s meant to be for their convenience.

Two miles further down the road, and I come to a standstill at the infamous Laxdale Bridge. Probably built with leftover stones from Hadrian’s Wall, it is still single track, causing huge tailbacks from the north in the early mornings, when folk are trying to get to work, and from the south in the afternoons, when the same people are trying to rush home for their curried mince and tatties or gugas, as the case might be. The problem caused by this bridge has been discussed countless times by succeeding councils, but nothing has been actually done about it. There is talk at the moment of installing traffic lights, but that will not solve the problem – only a widening of the bridge to accommodate two lanes would seem to be the only rational solution. It seems that Scottish National Heritage, or some such group, has the bridge listed as being of special interest or something, but I’ve yet to spot any bridge twitchers, complete with binoculars or cameras, in the vicinity.

In the main town, Stornoway, work has begun on demolishing one of the car parks there, despite the fact that there haven’t been enough parking spaces for a number of years now. The public toilets there have also been shut, with the Council telling us that we can use the ones in the bus station. Unfortunately, that closes at 6pm, so that means we have to run a tight ship as far as our toilet needs are concerned. It seems that the former car park area is to be used as a focal point for the area, complete with bandstand. Now, my regular readers will be aware of the fact that I started to learn playing the fiddle last November, but there was really no need for them (the Council) to push out the boat for me in this manner.

I noticed a couple of weeks ago that a certain firm, who are recruiting staff for work to be done online from home, have placed an intriguing advertisement in my local paper. The pay is not actually much more than the National Minimum Wage, but they DO state that workers will have the added benefits of no travel, food, or clothing expenses. The ‘no travel’ part of that is true enough, but are workers expected to sit naked at their computers whilst starving as well? I don’t think I’ll be phoning for an application form, somehow.