Another week, another shambles in what’s called the Mother of Parliaments. This time, Our Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, is labelled a bully in a book written by political commentator Andrew Rawnsley. In it, he alleges that Cabinet Secretary Sir Gus O’Donnell had to take the Prime Minister aside and urge him to curb his ‘volcanic temper’. The founder of the National Bullying Helpline, Christine Pratt, then said it had received three or four calls in the last 18 months from people working with the Prime Minister. During the past 48 hours, we’ve had claims and counter claims, and the only thing that seems certain is that quite a few folk in high office are lying – they certainly all cannot be telling the truth.
Meanwhile, north of the border, mayhem seems to rule as well. Scottish Enterprise, that job creation quango, is to spend more than £100,000 of taxpayers’ money on a ‘staff team building’ exercise, which will involve flying workers to Glasgow from offices in Moscow, New York, Hong Kong and other cities. What they are actually meant to be doing in those locations is anyone’s guess. Nationalist MSP Bill Kidd rightly pointed out that “it sounds like a junket.” Alas, he forgot to make any mention of his own party’s intention of hiring a special ‘tsar’ to oversee the independence referendum that his leader, Alex Salmond, is so intent on having. That exercise will only cost the taxpayer a mere £2 million, after all.
Two Labour and two Conservative MSPs have announced that they are to stand in the forthcoming Westminster election, whilst holding on to their seats in Holyrood as well. Again, Bill Kidd has gone on the offensive – he’s a very busy fellow – saying that it’s completely wrong for them to stand for election to both centres of government. Has he forgotten that the only person who holds a seat in both Parliaments at present is his own leader, Alex Salmond? No, he hasn’t, it seems. It WAS okay for Mr Salmond, he reckons, as he informed his constituents in the 2005 and 2007 elections that he was seeking a dual mandate. Sheer hypocrisy! In effect, it’s a case of doing two jobs on a part time basis, whilst pocketing two full time wage packets. Maybe, just maybe, their respective electorates will decide that they are not worthy of representing them either in Scotland or in the UK. I assume they all know how to use a pen, as it’s needed when paying the weekly visit to the Job Centre.
Despite the dire state of the economy, with inflation and unemployment rising, the Scottish Executive seems to be just as interested in the health of pet rabbits at the moment. It is launching a consultation which ‘seeks views on the draft code of practice for the welfare of rabbits which is designed to be a practical guide for owners and keepers of rabbits, but does not cover ‘rabbits which are farmed for food’. I think that if I had a pet bunny, and wanted some practical advice on how to look after it, I would get a good book on the subject, and not look up some Government website for it. The SNP are not the only party to blame for coming up with those daft ideas though – in 2006, it was revealed that there had been on average one new law or regulation every day since the Holyrood parliament came into being, so the Labour-LibDem coalition were at it as well. Some were plain stupid, such as the ban on mink farms, when there none in Scotland. The reasoning given, if I remember rightly, was that someone might want to start one, so it was better to have the ban in place. If someone leaks the story about the large pet in my garden, I’m sure they’ll soon have a law in place banning elephant farms as well.
I heard yesterday that the drug manufacturer Eli Lilly, which makes Prozac, the human anti-depressant, has come up with a form of the pill, called Reconcile, for our canine friends. In fact, it has already been approved for sale to British pet owners. The tablet is said to help cure ‘canine compulsive disorder’ and ‘separation anxiety’ brought on by owners’ long absences during the day. Symptoms are said to include whimpering, poor behaviour, and tail chasing. What utter tripe! The poor dogs are being ‘labelled’ or ‘diagnosed’ with illnesses, just so that drugs can be marketed to supposedly treat them. I would hope that dog owners in Britain would give those pills a wide berth – a large juicy bone from the butcher down the road has been known to keep der Hund very happy for quite a while.
bullying, dogs, Holyrood, rabbits, Westminster
Tuesday 23 February 2010
Tuesday 16 February 2010
Overpaid Public Servants and EuroMillions
Is there no end to the money going into the wallets of certain “fat cats” north of the border? Dr Robert Masterton, executive medical director of NHS Ayrshire and Arran, with a salary of around £240,000, is the second highest paid public servant in Scotland – his wage is actually more than a fifth higher than Gordon Brown’s since being increased by more than 20% in 2 years. This, despite the fact that his board have unveiled plans for a 2% budget cut, leading to patient care being undermined, and also the fact that there had been 356 pest infestations in the board’s hospitals in a year – presumably the bugs took a holiday for 9 days. Why not, indeed?
I see that the chairman of Strathclyde Partnership for Transport (SPT), councillor Alistair Watson, has stepped down amid growing controversy concerning senior executives’ expenses. He is said to be leaving because of health reasons, but the timing coincides with a complaint to Audit Scotland, asking for an examination into claims totalling £117,573 made by SPT officials over the past three years, including £49,195 spent on overseas trips. A total of £1,700 was claimed for meals, travel, and accommodation after officials travelled to Manchester in May 2008 which coincided with the UEFA Cup Final between Rangers and Zenit St Petersburg. Their other jaunts have taken them to China, America, Singapore, Russia, Spain, Germany, Italy, and India. I would imagine that they travelled to the last two countries mentioned in order to study their gondola and rickshaw systems, and maybe introduce them to the Glasgow masses.
Meanwhile, the health and safety cowboys are at it again. At the end of December, during the very cold spell, firefighters from Kilmarnock and Ayr were called out to try and rescue a dog that was trapped on ice on a partially frozen pond. The commander at Kilmarnock Fire Station, Stevie Logan, finally managed to rescue the dog by getting hold of a canoe and paddling out to it. There is now an investigation into his conduct, as it seems that he broke Strathclyde Fire and Rescue guidelines by putting himself unnecessarily at risk. What is he and his colleagues meant to do the next time they’re called out to deal with a huge fire – stand by and watch? The mind boggles.
Now to another tale concerning finances, but a much happier one this time. I heard on Saturday that a couple from Britain had won 56 million pounds and 20 pence in the EuroMillions draw on Friday night. I wonder if they will check the 20 pence piece to see if it’s an undated one, worth £50. Anyway, they have now been paraded on telly, informing the nation of what they’ll be spending some of the dosh on. A new car and house, certainly, plus a Shetland pony and a tarantula. A new garden will be a must for the pony, of course, presumably with a sign on the gate bearing the legend, “Beware Of The Spider”.
I see that the chairman of Strathclyde Partnership for Transport (SPT), councillor Alistair Watson, has stepped down amid growing controversy concerning senior executives’ expenses. He is said to be leaving because of health reasons, but the timing coincides with a complaint to Audit Scotland, asking for an examination into claims totalling £117,573 made by SPT officials over the past three years, including £49,195 spent on overseas trips. A total of £1,700 was claimed for meals, travel, and accommodation after officials travelled to Manchester in May 2008 which coincided with the UEFA Cup Final between Rangers and Zenit St Petersburg. Their other jaunts have taken them to China, America, Singapore, Russia, Spain, Germany, Italy, and India. I would imagine that they travelled to the last two countries mentioned in order to study their gondola and rickshaw systems, and maybe introduce them to the Glasgow masses.
Meanwhile, the health and safety cowboys are at it again. At the end of December, during the very cold spell, firefighters from Kilmarnock and Ayr were called out to try and rescue a dog that was trapped on ice on a partially frozen pond. The commander at Kilmarnock Fire Station, Stevie Logan, finally managed to rescue the dog by getting hold of a canoe and paddling out to it. There is now an investigation into his conduct, as it seems that he broke Strathclyde Fire and Rescue guidelines by putting himself unnecessarily at risk. What is he and his colleagues meant to do the next time they’re called out to deal with a huge fire – stand by and watch? The mind boggles.
Now to another tale concerning finances, but a much happier one this time. I heard on Saturday that a couple from Britain had won 56 million pounds and 20 pence in the EuroMillions draw on Friday night. I wonder if they will check the 20 pence piece to see if it’s an undated one, worth £50. Anyway, they have now been paraded on telly, informing the nation of what they’ll be spending some of the dosh on. A new car and house, certainly, plus a Shetland pony and a tarantula. A new garden will be a must for the pony, of course, presumably with a sign on the gate bearing the legend, “Beware Of The Spider”.
Saturday 13 February 2010
Dennis the Menace a Menace no more!
Nicola Sturgeon, first in line to the throne of that other fishy sounding character, Alex Salmond, seems to have completely lost her marbles this week, having written to a court asking for leniency to be shown in the case of a convicted benefits fraudster. This guy cheated taxpayers out of £80,000 whilst living in a £400,000 home in Glasgow and earning rent for another property in Edinburgh. She must also have been aware of the fact that he’d been jailed for 4 years in 1996 for a pensions and benefits scam, yet she had the gall to tell the court that he’s in poor health and had made a “mistake”. Some mistake! Anyway, it’s made me take a note of my own MSP’s phone number, in case I get nicked in the future for flicking my cigarette ash on to the pavement.
It seems that Dennis the Menace, b.1951, and one of my boyhood heroes, has been disarmed in the comic, supposedly to match Dennis in the TV cartoon version. The politically correct brigade have managed to remove his peashooter, catapult, and water pistol; his menacing scowl has gone, replaced by a wide angelic grin, and his trusty sidekick, Gnasher the hound, has lost the right to bite the postie or the traffic warden, or indeed, anybody else who looks remotely edible. The PC lobbyists insist that children who are exposed to the old-style Dennis, Roger the Dodger, and Minnie the Minx are more liable to turn into serial thieves, murderers, or terrorists. What utter rubbish! Do the majority of us who were brought up reading those comics now go around brandishing guns, knifes, or throwing bombs into crowded places. I think not!
I think I’ve written before now regarding stupid surveys and research carried out at great expense by supposedly respectable bodies and individuals. I’ve just come across another one that has been unleashed this week, involving some research done by Dr Jane Murray of Bristol University. She has come to the conclusion that folk who own cats are quite a bit more intelligent than those who own dogs. No chance of me, then, applying for membership of Mensa, and meeting up with the Queen of figures, Carol Vorderman, at an egghheads’ convention. I’ve never had a cat, and I don’t think I will either, even if it was going to enhance the cells up top. Dr Murray has also come up with the breathtaking revelation that people with gardens are more likely to have pets than those who don’t. I’d actually suspected that was the case for a number of years now, as my pet elephant’s toilet requirements couldn’t easily be met inside the confines of the house. The research wasn’t all rubbish, of course – it also informs us that, on the whole, members of the canine and feline worlds do not get on well together. It must have taken them a long time, and the consumption of countless doggie biscuits, before they came up with that one. Not having had time to read the whole report, I’m not sure if loyalty is mentioned. I think everyone, pet owner or not, can see that cats have a “couldn’t care less” attitude, as long as they are fed, whereas dogs never tire of showing affection for their owners. Of course, it’s a known fact (no research needed) that if you were to die, your dog would lie there indefinitely beside you, whereas your cat …. well, he wouldn’t starve….
It seems that Dennis the Menace, b.1951, and one of my boyhood heroes, has been disarmed in the comic, supposedly to match Dennis in the TV cartoon version. The politically correct brigade have managed to remove his peashooter, catapult, and water pistol; his menacing scowl has gone, replaced by a wide angelic grin, and his trusty sidekick, Gnasher the hound, has lost the right to bite the postie or the traffic warden, or indeed, anybody else who looks remotely edible. The PC lobbyists insist that children who are exposed to the old-style Dennis, Roger the Dodger, and Minnie the Minx are more liable to turn into serial thieves, murderers, or terrorists. What utter rubbish! Do the majority of us who were brought up reading those comics now go around brandishing guns, knifes, or throwing bombs into crowded places. I think not!
I think I’ve written before now regarding stupid surveys and research carried out at great expense by supposedly respectable bodies and individuals. I’ve just come across another one that has been unleashed this week, involving some research done by Dr Jane Murray of Bristol University. She has come to the conclusion that folk who own cats are quite a bit more intelligent than those who own dogs. No chance of me, then, applying for membership of Mensa, and meeting up with the Queen of figures, Carol Vorderman, at an egghheads’ convention. I’ve never had a cat, and I don’t think I will either, even if it was going to enhance the cells up top. Dr Murray has also come up with the breathtaking revelation that people with gardens are more likely to have pets than those who don’t. I’d actually suspected that was the case for a number of years now, as my pet elephant’s toilet requirements couldn’t easily be met inside the confines of the house. The research wasn’t all rubbish, of course – it also informs us that, on the whole, members of the canine and feline worlds do not get on well together. It must have taken them a long time, and the consumption of countless doggie biscuits, before they came up with that one. Not having had time to read the whole report, I’m not sure if loyalty is mentioned. I think everyone, pet owner or not, can see that cats have a “couldn’t care less” attitude, as long as they are fed, whereas dogs never tire of showing affection for their owners. Of course, it’s a known fact (no research needed) that if you were to die, your dog would lie there indefinitely beside you, whereas your cat …. well, he wouldn’t starve….
Thursday 4 February 2010
John Cleese and Expenses
The Sir Thomas Legg final report into claims for MPs’ expenses has been published today, and makes interesting reading, although nobody will have the actual time to read it. It is a large volume, and so it should be, at a cost of over £1,000,000, roughly the same amount as is being clawed back from certain guys and gals at Westminster. It is ironic that on the same day, parliamentary authorities have also introduced a new system for viewing MPs’ latest expenses claims, and it is, quite simply, an outrage. The old system – a list of names with links to PDF files – was much better. Voters can no longer view copies of receipts. Only the bare details of expenses are given -- just a new way of covering up details of claims. I’m not going to dwell on the issue here, although I was interested to hear Sir Gerald Kaufman’s name being mentioned on a couple of news bulletins earlier on. I had read last year about his claiming £225 for a pen, which I hope came complete with ink, and £8865 for a Bang & Olufsen 40in LCD television, but I hadn’t picked up on the £220+ that was spent on 2 grapefruit bowls. At that price, maybe the grapefruit should be silver plated.
Meanwhile, my own financial situation is not in the best of health today – I was asked to carry out a small job for the local council over the next couple of weeks, but didn’t realise that I had to fill in a pile of forms first of all, presumably to keep others in work scrutinising them. Worse was to come, as the instructions stipulated that I had to use black ink. Alas, no such thing in the house, which meant that I had to invest in 2 black pens, thus halving my anticipated wages from the work. As if that wasn’t depressing enough, I found out that President Obama is drastically cutting down on the money given to NASA, and is eliminating the manned missions to the moon. It means that the 2 plots I bought over 14 years ago in a desirable location there are now worth zilch. I might have to look to Iran to help out – they might, just might, get someone up there during my lifetime, as they have managed to send a mouse, a pair of turtles, and some worms into space using a light booster rocket. Probably turn out to be just a Mickey Mouse effort, though.
Talking of Space, a doctor near Washington, DC was very fortunate to escape injury last week, when a small meteorite struck the roof of his office, and scattered debris around the place. It was the size of a tennis ball, and was travelling at around 220 miles per hour. Probably something that Andy Murray should aim for if he wants to succeed at Wimbledon.
I’ve always been a fan of John Cleese, especially his portrayal of the hotel owner in “Fawlty Towers”. Last year he was in America, carrying out his “Alimony Tour”, so-called because of the $20,000,000 that he had to fork out to his ex-wife, Alice Faye Eichelberger. Sounds like “I’ll hae a burger”, but presumably she won’t be sitting down in a MacDonald’s in the foreseeable future. Anyway, he came up with some memorable lines concerning the divorce, and the amount of money that is now missing from his bank account, including this one – “To make me feel better, my lawyer told me to imagine how much more I’d have had to pay if Alice had contributed anything to the relationship – such as children, or a two way conversation”. Ouch!
Meanwhile, my own financial situation is not in the best of health today – I was asked to carry out a small job for the local council over the next couple of weeks, but didn’t realise that I had to fill in a pile of forms first of all, presumably to keep others in work scrutinising them. Worse was to come, as the instructions stipulated that I had to use black ink. Alas, no such thing in the house, which meant that I had to invest in 2 black pens, thus halving my anticipated wages from the work. As if that wasn’t depressing enough, I found out that President Obama is drastically cutting down on the money given to NASA, and is eliminating the manned missions to the moon. It means that the 2 plots I bought over 14 years ago in a desirable location there are now worth zilch. I might have to look to Iran to help out – they might, just might, get someone up there during my lifetime, as they have managed to send a mouse, a pair of turtles, and some worms into space using a light booster rocket. Probably turn out to be just a Mickey Mouse effort, though.
Talking of Space, a doctor near Washington, DC was very fortunate to escape injury last week, when a small meteorite struck the roof of his office, and scattered debris around the place. It was the size of a tennis ball, and was travelling at around 220 miles per hour. Probably something that Andy Murray should aim for if he wants to succeed at Wimbledon.
I’ve always been a fan of John Cleese, especially his portrayal of the hotel owner in “Fawlty Towers”. Last year he was in America, carrying out his “Alimony Tour”, so-called because of the $20,000,000 that he had to fork out to his ex-wife, Alice Faye Eichelberger. Sounds like “I’ll hae a burger”, but presumably she won’t be sitting down in a MacDonald’s in the foreseeable future. Anyway, he came up with some memorable lines concerning the divorce, and the amount of money that is now missing from his bank account, including this one – “To make me feel better, my lawyer told me to imagine how much more I’d have had to pay if Alice had contributed anything to the relationship – such as children, or a two way conversation”. Ouch!
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