Tuesday 16 November 2010

Have YOU Had Your First Senior Moment Yet?

Not much happening on the political front over the past few days, although it was nice to hear that the opposition leader in Myanmar, Aung San Suu Kyi, was released from house arrest on Saturday, after being detained for a total of 15 out of the past 21 years. Of course, if she tries to push her activism too far, and too fast, the military regime there would have no qualms about having her silenced, and incarcerated again. It should remind us in the west of the privilege that we have here in that we have free speech, which has been passed on to us because of the sacrifices made by our forefathers. We should certainly make use of those privileges, especially while our minds and memories are still active, and capable of lucid thought!

As I've now passed the three score mark in terms of years spent on the planet, I've gone through my apprenticeship in Senior Moments, or temporary amnesia, as some may prefer to call it. I can easily remember events of 50 years ago – the first stolen turnip from the neighbour's croft, the first stolen kiss – there was no difference in taste, as she had been partaking of raw turnip as well. Anyway, nowadays, I sometimes forget my best friend's name, or what programme I watched on telly last night. I am sometimes scared of what I'm going to say, and scared of the fact that I might have to stop talking altogether by the time I'm 70 – some have resorted to doing exactly that, just to be on the safe side. Some have turned to pills, believing all the hype about some tablets with natural ingredients etc. that can reverse this memory loss by increasing the blood flow to the brain.

All bunkum, I reckon! Most of our ancestors seemed to retain their memories well into their 80s and beyond, so why has our capability to do so disappeared? I don't reckon that the blood flow to the upper regions of our body has anything to do with it – it is just that in the past fifty years or so, most folk have been in schools, colleges etc. for longer than our forefathers were, thus leaving our brains with hundreds or even thousands of more facts crammed into them. In our History classes, we had dates rammed into us – remember 1066 (Battle of Hastings), 1215 (Magna Carta first issued), 1492 (Columbus landed in the Bahamas), 1914 (Outbreak of First World War)? In Geography lessons, we had to cope with an increasing number of names, as countries fought each other, overran each others' lands, which inevitably resulted in new names being given to those lands, thus leaving our brains with even more information to take on board. This was true in respect of most subjects, leaving our memories with far too much to cope with. Unlike computers, us humans cannot just add more memory capabilities when we want to. The only solution is to make more room for new information that is fed to us, which means that we should ditch all the useless stuff that has accumulated over the years. All those dates, the older names for countries, names of folk you never see anymore etc. should be ditched immediately. We should make some room for today's snippets of information to have some more storage space.

Of course, a lot of us have wasted our energy in our earlier years by beating around the bush, jumping to conclusions, trying to climb the success ladder, bending over backwards, making mountains out of molehills, and so on. Those needless exertions and worries are bound to have an adverse effect on our grey matter in later years. Having said that, so called senior moments are not necessarily the domain of the older generation. I happened to have an appointment with a doctor, 20 years my junior, a few months ago, and asked him to renew my prescription for a cream that I use to help alleviate arthritis pain. He said that he was going to give me tablets instead, as they were more effective in his opinion, and that he really couldn't understand why I'd been prescribed cream in the first instance. After looking through some notes, he matter of factly said to me, “Oh, I see that it was myself who suggested you have cream in the first place.” Years before that, whilst I was bricklaying, I had an apprentice joiner working with me for a few days, renovating a house. We only had 2 ladders on the job, and I recall a certain morning that I was using one of them to get materials up to the scaffold, when I heard him calling me, asking me if I knew where the other ladder was. It was difficult for me to explain to him, whilst keeping a straight face, that he was standing on it! Only last week, I had a new washing machine installed, but unfortunately the valve connecting the hose to the outside pipe was damaged, resulting in no water getting through, and so I had to phone a plumber. I got a hold of a guy who I guessed was in his forties, explained the situation, and got told that they were very busy, and that it might be a few days before they could send someone out to fix it – I was then asked if it was urgent. As my friends know, I am usually a patient fellow, so I calmly replied replied that I found that the laundry invariably seemed to turn out better if there was water in the machine. There was no reply – I think he was contemplating his first junior senior moment.

I think it's time to make a dignified exit, as my mind has started to wonder about how rabbits know which burrow to make for – they all look alike to me (the bunnies and their burrows).

Saturday 6 November 2010

Time, Sandwiches, and Sarah Palin

It's been over a month now since I've added some words of wisdom to this blog, partly because of the lack of proper internet facilities in the hospital, but mostly because of the fact that I was too tired to concentrate. However, it has reinforced my belief that time is really what we make of it as individuals – a year ago last night, I celebrated my 60th birthday with my family and some friends; last night, I celebrated again, and reflected on the 365 days that have elapsed in the space of that year – because of my illness and the various treatments I've undergone, the year seems to have passed in a flash. On the other hand, if I'd been in touch with someone of the Brahan Seer's stature on the 4th of November 2009, and he'd have foretold what I was to endure over the future months, I'd probably have felt that every day was a burden, and longer than the day before. Anyway, last night was a cause for real celebration, as I'd promised myself that I was determined to have a few more birthdays annoying my grandchildren with my typical old man's eccentricities.

Back to the seedy world of politics, where we have a Labour MP and former Immigration Minister, Phil Woolas, being thrown out of Parliament and his Party for breaking electoral law by making up damaging allegations about his main General Election opponent. I seem to recall that he was the one who submitted all sorts of claims for expenses, including panty liners, tampons, and nappies although the rules stated that personal items such as toiletries were not allowed, nor were items bought for anyone else, including family members. I also remember reading in a newspaper that “Mr Woolas rose to the rank of Immigration Minister in October 2008”. Well, I think we're all aware of the fact that some objects of a disagreeable nature rise to the top.

Other whingeing MPs are furious that the price of food and drink in the House of Commons has risen after the public subsidy was cut. This, despite the fact that many meals, such as shoulder of lamb at £2.95 and steamed fish with egg noodles at £3.90 are seen by the majority of the public as being cheap. It seems that their biggest beef is to do with a new £15 flat fee for up to 3 courses in the dining room overlooking the Thames. They seem to conveniently forget the fact that they can claim £15 for dinner if the House sits after 7.30pm. Like many thousands of others, I went to work in all sorts of weather for over 30 years with only a packed lunch to keep me going, so I'm sure it could sustain them as well, especially in their comfortable heated rooms and offices. Of course, on second thoughts, that would be rather a daft idea, as it would cost the taxpayer much more – they would each probably have to hire someone to cook eggs, ham etc. for the sandwiches, and possibly a French butler to spread the Danish butter on the Belgian bread.

Across the Pond, and it seems that a certain George W. Bush believes that Sarah Palin spoiled the Republican party's 2008 election campaign. He has criticised John McCain for picking her as his running mate that year, and is of the opinion that she is not qualified for such a post. It's rather difficult for most of us to suss out Ms Palin's aims or objectives – she has been heard to say that she would like limited government. What exactly does she mean by this? Is it some sort of government that will be limited by her own limited abilities? I think it's time for my sleeping draught, or have I taken it already?