Dentists and Frozen Turkeys

It’s been over a month since I’ve scribbled anything here, but it should come as no surprise that I have a look at Westminster for my first item of 2010. It has been revealed that many of the estimated one million illegal immigrants in Britain are actually working in top Government offices – including the headquarters of the UK Border Agency – the body that is supposed to keep them out of the country in the first instance! The organisation is one of 3 Government departments, 54 NHS Trusts, and 34 local authorities who have admitted employing 349 foreign staff that have no right to work here since 2006. On top of that, the expenses scandal is still to the fore, with over 400 MPs having had demands to repay some of their expense claims, ranging from £1000s for flipping houses to a few pounds for things such as garlic slicers. It all leaves a sour taste in the mouth.

Talking of that part of the anatomy, it seems that a new dentist’s surgery is to be built adjacent to the local hospital here. I would have thought that there are plenty of other areas where it could have been built, as the hospital could well do with many more parking spaces, and the ground allocated for the dentist’s new surgery would have been ideal. The architects have tried to pacify us natives by telling us of the lovely view of Broadbay that we’re going to have as we sit there having our treasured molars extracted. Well, that is certainly true if we happen to be sitting whilst facing east – we’ll be able to see a small part of the bay, plus the odd plane landing on, or taking off, from the nearby airport. However, if we are looking north, we find ourselves looking at a housing estate, and what folk are preparing for dinner. A glimpse to the west, another housing estate, and the busiest road leading into the town, which will undoubtedly give us fantastic free views of would-be Formula One Drivers. Now to the south, where all we’re going to have is a bird’s eye view of nurses tending to their patients in a couple of the wards. Fantastic scenery, as the architects have informed us. Of course, we have the consolation of knowing that the Accident and Emergency department is only 40 yards away if the dentist messes up our gums whilst he or she is enjoying the panorama to be seen from his room.

I suppose that we should all sympathize with the couple from Sutherland in the north of Scotland who have been kept apart by the weather for the past 14 days. Kay Ure had left her lighthouse keeper’s cottage in the remote part of the Scottish Highlands to go on a shopping trip to Inverness. However, with the turkey safely in the bag, thick snow and blocked roads have made it impossible for her to return to the cottage and to her, no doubt, starving husband, John. We can only hope that he will soon have two birds in the hand, one frozen, and one of the rather more cuddly type.

Teeth and Terrorists

The British Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, has still to give us his opinion on whether Kenny MacAskill, the Scottish Justice Minister, was right in releasing the so-called Lockerbie bomber, Abdel-baset Ali Mohmed al-Megrahi. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that his own Westminster Government freed Ronnie Biggs, one of the Great Train Robbery perpetrators, just a few weeks earlier. Like Megrahi, he (Biggs) has never shown remorse for the crimes that they had been convicted of. There was never any doubt about Biggs’ involvement, but most would agree that Megrahi was simply a pawn in a much wider political game. Whatever the rights and wrongs of his release, I find it highly objectionable that FBI director Robert Mueller should criticise Mr MacAskill – I think he should look closer to home, where he will find a justice system that isn’t exactly squeaky clean. Despite his Government’s statements to the contrary, political prisoners have been and still are, tortured, and futher afield, some of their military haven’t exactly covered themselves in glory whilst serving in Iraq. Innocent men, women, and children there have been tortured and slaughtered by them, so I think Mr Mueller should have a look at the beam in his own eye before commenting on the splinter in ours.

As someone with an interest in money, or more precisely, the lack of it, I don’t suppose I should have been surprised when I read that some dentists in Scotland are fairly raking it in nowadays. 24 of them earned over £300,000 last year, with 138 having over £200,000 jangling in their pockets. They seem to have become experts at more than just filling molar cavities.

I’m not sure how many KPWs they could earn in North Korea, but there might soon be vacancies for more dentists in that country of povert and nuclear weapons. In yet another demonstration of his love for the people of North Korea, “Dear Leader” Kim Jong Il has decided to expand the list of foods they will never get a chance to enjoy.No longer must the average worker restrict his hungry fantasizing to such staples as rice, beef, kimchi, and tofu. Now he can take pride in knowing that while he and his family waste away with malnutrition, the country’s elite are enjoying such exotic foreign items as pizza and hamburgers. It seemed like big news when word leaked out that North Korea was producing its own Taedong River Beer, but throw in hamburgers and pizza as well, and you can’t help thinking we’re witnessing the disintegration of the workers’ paradise as we knew it. What’s next for Pyongyang, popcorn and the Superbowl?