Barmy British Laws

A couple of months ago, I mentioned some of the barmy laws that exist in Britain, and it’s only because of the unusually long spell of snow and frost that I came across another one that could affect any of us as we walk around our towns and cities. I was very critical of local shopkeepers for not clearing the pavements in front of their shops, but it seems that they were actually protecting themselves from the wrath of British justice. Firms have been warned that if they clear ice outside their businesses, they leave themselves open to legal action. However, if they leave the paths or pavements in a treacherous state, they are immune from being sued. It seems that they would have to get public liability insurance if they wanted to stay above board in the legal sense. The Institution of Occupational Safety and Health, representing 36,000 health and safety experts, has a lot to answer for.

It seems that we are not allowed nowadays to protect our families and property either. The TV presenter Myleene Klass has been warned by police that she was breaking the law by waving a knife at a gang who had broken into her garden. She was actually inside her home, and they were outside, when the incident occurred, but she was told that she should not have used the knife as carrying an “offensive weapon”, even in her own house, was illegal. With the scarcity of police officers nowadays on the beat, what are folk supposed to do – allow themselves to be attacked and their houses ransacked by louts? It leaves me with a dilemma as well – how am I going to chop my vegetables, or for that matter, cut up my juicy T-bone steak?

Experts at “Which?”, the consumer watchdogs, have come to the conclusion that everyday tasks such as mopping the floor, dusting, and taking a walk with the vacuum cleaner burn up more calories and give a better boost to fitness than playing about with a Nintendo Wii. They probably burned a lot of grey calories themselves while trying to come to that conclusion.

It seems that Ronnie Wood, he of the Rolling Fossils, has started dating another girl in her 20s, just weeks after falling out with Katia Ivanova, his girlfriend for 18 months or so. This latest one’s family come from Russia, same as Katia did. Is he collecting their females in the same way as some of us collect their famous eggs?

Safety Helmets, Fish, and Obesity

 Lice, skin disease, or just a ruined hair-do. These are some of the complaints made by passengers of Nigeria's motorcycle taxis against a new law forcing them to wear helmets. The traffic-beating motorcycle taxis — known as ‘okada’ after a defunct Nigerian airline — have mushroomed in recent years as Nigeria's roads have become increasingly clogged by traffic. Fatalities for riders of the rickety, small motorcycles have risen, too. Since January 1, drivers and their passengers are required by law to wear a helmet in a bid to reduce the rising number of Nigerian road deaths. However, some passengers are rebelling against donning the headgear provided by the okada drivers.

“The problem is they are shared. You don’t know who has been wearing the helmet before you,” said Gladys Emmanuel, 45, who regularly travels around Lagos, Nigeria’s commercial capital, astride one of the city’s thousands of okadas. Gladys, like many other women, carries a handkerchief or plastic bag with her that she puts over her elaborate hair weaves to protect them from any filth, old hair pomade or lice that might have been left on the helmet by a previous passenger.

 

But, in this latest bid to improve safety, the onus for provision of the helmet falls on the okada driver, not the passenger. Okada drivers are generally poor, illiterate young men who often rent their bike for a daily fee. The purchase of a helmet and a second one for their customers is proving a hefty burden for many, some of whom are coming up with ingenious cheaper alternatives.  Plastic construction helmets, old horse riding hats and even steel colanders have all been used by Lagos okada drivers to appear to be abiding by the legislation. In the northern Nigerian city of Kano, angry riders put dried fruit and calabashes on their head to protest against the new law.

 

I must admit that I have never been a great fan of the two wheeled method of transport, and whizzing around on one with a dried half coconut on my head could do irretrievable damage to my image.

I have long been of the opinion that there is too much hype in the media concerning obesity, and although there are some folk out there who could exercise more and eat less, others are born with genes that leave them rather fat, and there is little they can do about it. I was reminded of the topic this afternoon, as my bus left the station, and was passing the public toilets. There was a lady there, obviously in some distress – she was probably about 20 stones in weight, wearing an anorak, and a skirt that was beginning to move slowly southwards. She was attempting to hoist it upwards with one hand whilst trying to hold one side of her anorak open with the other hand, presumably so that she could see what she was doing, and gauge her progress, or lack of it. I could only assume that she hadn’t zipped or buttoned up properly, or that something had given way, trying to hold everything in, and under control. Anyway, it was reassuring to know that there was a convenient building in her vicinity where she could repair the damage.

    

I see that researchers from Sweden’s University of Gothenburg have found that 15 year old boys who ate fish regularly did better in intelligence tests when they reached 18 than those lads who rarely touched it. Boys who partook of fish once a week increased their scores by an average of  6%, whilst those who ate it on a more regular basis increased them by just under 11%. Those tests included verbal reasoning, logic, physics and maths. As I used to have fish around 5 days a week during my teenage years, I suppose I should be Prime Minister by now, instead of sitting here, scribbling rubbish. Of course, one doesn’t need much intelligence to run, sorry, ruin our country.